Happy boy

Happy New Year

Freshly sheered

Lauren sheered both boys to start the new year right!

Stubborn

I wish I knew how to say "stubborn" in Amharic. We went to an Ethiopian restaurant last night. The waitress tried to speak to him. She put her hands on her knees, bent down to him and communicated for a solid minute. He just tilted his head to the left and then to the right as if he couldn't understand a word that she was saying. She turned to me and said, "he doesn't speak Amharic?" I reassured her that he does. Then he looked at her and said "water please."

The only Amharic word that he would say was "injera." And he barked it at her every time she walked by even before the rest of the family was there. She finally brought him a small plate with lentils. I have a friend at work who has offered to spend some time speaking with him. I will see if she can tell him it's good to keep speaking Amharic as he learns English. Everyone tells me this is natural. They want to fit in, to be like us. I wish he knew that we want him to keep it. 

Santa lives

Mason still believes in Santa Claus. This year he kept looking for ways to catch us into admitting that there is no Santa, but he still really wants to believe.  Like last night he asked me about a present that was in his stocking. He asked me where I got it. I said Nordstrom. He said, "Santa didn't come this year! You just said YOU bought it at Nordstrom!" I peddled saying "I said it came from Nordstrom. I have always told you that Santa shops at Nordstrom. The elves can't do everything." That seemed to pacify him. We head into 2014 still believing!

Spidey-spicious

What Bentley thinks of Spiderman.

Amharic

It's really important to Cindy and me that Ermi keeps as much as he can from Ethiopia. We hope that some day he will want to return, whatever that may look like for him, and have the ability to communicate fluently. But right now that seems unlikely. Today we hired another interpreter, the same guy that he had a few weeks ago, and again Ermi refused to talk to him again. The man tried hard, but Ermi would only give him eyebrow rises and nods of his head. He only spoke two times in Amharic. One was to say "I speak English" and the other was to say "goodbye." Unlike previous encounters with men that look and sound Ethiopian where Ermi would jump in their arms, this time he clung to Cindy and me.

This give us such mixed feelings. On the one hand, from a mental-health perspective, this is tremendous news. He is bonded with us, attached to us, and wants to fit in 100% with our family (including the way we talk). We are so happy that he is all in with us. On the other hand, though, we are sad that he's choosing to let go of what he came with. As adults, we know he doesn't have to choose, and we want him to have both. But maybe that's asking too much of a six year old.

I talked to the interpreter about hiring a tutor once a week or so to talk to Ermi. This Ethiopian man said, "I don't think that's a good idea. He does not want it. This is just nature." We may still do it, but I am starting to lose hope of its efficacy based on another failed attempt today. We are still going to stay active in the Ethiopian community and find ways to let him hear his native tongue. But, for better or worse, this kid is fully immersed in our culture now.

And as Cindy and I were having this conversation on the ride home, he busts out this Ethiopian chant. I assume it's a national anthem of some sort, but am not sure. I looked it up online and it doesn't match - but he instinctively put his right hand over his chest. Anybody have ideas of what he's saying? Other than, "you guys are silly talking about my language skills."

"Sleep"-over

I'm not sure why it's called a sleep-over, but we have six eleven year old girls here until the morning. 

These are great girls. I am so impressed with Kenzie's friends, as well as their parents. We have such a nice network of people in Issaquah, and every one that was invited came for dinner, movie and lots of giggling. They even let Mason and Ermias join in the entire evening. 

I look back on our decision to move to Issaquah. It happened quickly and without as much planning as you might think for a decision of this magnitude. But as we try to do at all major crossroads in our lives, we let go of control and let ourselves be led. Now we get it. Our kids have a small-town network of people who care and follow them through the years, and we are close enough to still consider ourselves city peeps. A couple of the moms stayed for a few hours at drop-off (even as their girls were encouraging them to go). We all chatted and...well...drank margaritas. We have roots here now, and our kids get to say they started in kindergarten with this group of kids. 

As I type I hear the giggling. The boys are asleep and all six girls are crowded into Kenzie's room. Earlier as I was setting up the mattresses Ermias came in, amazed at the transformation and said "oooooh soft" and then crawled under the covers. 

Christmas song

Lauren and Kenzie surprised us with a Christmas song. Lauren took Kenzie for a day last week into her studio and they sang a duet for us. Kenzie is in the background singing harmony. 

The song can be heard here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/1p6qgt2ut4ttcex/Little%20Drummer%20Boy%201%20-%20Lauren%20and%20Kenzie.m4a

Predator

The worst part about having a new bike is having a big brother with one that's faster than yours--and can ram into your backside in full motion.

But they will sit still and pose if prompted. That's better.

First Christmas as Five

We had a wonderful, jam-packed, crazy chaotic Christmas. For Christmas Eve we went to church and then Carol's, arriving late, and overstayed our welcome. This morning the kids woke up around 8:15 and we all headed down to check out the stockings. We hadn't played up Santa much this year. Mason still believes, or at least he still really wants to believe, but Ermi has no idea who Santa is, or why he should care. With our limited shared language, we just didn't find the need to push it. Even still, everyone seemed surprised that the stockings were actually filled. Perhaps this is because the Tooth Fairy has less than a perfect attendance record in this house.

Mason put his Ethiopian outfit on this morning, then Ermi insisted on matching. 

Ermi grabbed the water bottle out of the top of the stocking and thought he was done. Cindy had to keep encouraging him after each item he took out to keep digging. He loved the gloves and the scissors. Everything he got he cherished.

Mason loved the tiny skull in a vial.

This year Cindy and I promised to go easy on the gifts, let Ermias experience Christmas with more of a minimalist mindset, only buying a few special presents for each kid. But we failed miserably at that. We tend to refresh the kids wardrobes at Christmas, from everything from socks and underwear to winter coats. So there are a lot of presents. And it didn't take Ermi long to figure out what we were up to. He quickly got into the spirit and would ask for "more present. Ermias more present. Another?" He couldn't tell which ones were his so he would bring present after present to me, hoping it was his. Here he's opening his 30" Spiderman, which doesn't look that tall until you put it next to a kid who's only 42".

(Okay, truth be told, none of the kids could tell which presents were theirs. A few years ago I got annoyed with them fondling their presents before Christmas and mass hysteria at opening time, so I instituted an encrypted, rotating coding scheme. This year presents contained codes such as 07J, R19 and SN83. Based on two years ago when Felix spent two weeks trying to decipher the code, they know it was pointless, so they just wait until I hand them a present.)

Most of the morning was spent opening presents and eating our traditional Eggs Benedict. Both the Bolams and the Averills were over, and we opened so many presents it looks like all of Santa's elves got into a fight in our living room. Kenzie scored some high heeled shoes that she loves and, matched with her new leggings, she looks like a teenager. Mason and Ermi got remote cars. Buy stock in battery companies because they haven't been turned off yet. Both Kenzie and Mason got Rainbow Looms, the latest fad to create bracelets out of colored rubber bands. Ermias received a new three-wheeled bike that took both Grandpas a good chunk of the morning to put together. We also bought a 6'x12' soccer goal with a 21' barrier net to go in our yard. Mason's excited for it, but we haven't put it up yet. Maybe it's Cindy and me that are most excited about it...and not having to jump in the blackberry bushes to hunt for soccer balls anymore.

This afternoon we all piled in the car and headed to Randy and Sary-Jo's for an awesome relaxed evening with family and a full turkey dinner. Ermias still refused to eat the giant, naked stuffed bird, but the rest of us made up for it. Mason and Kenzie played in the street with the "big kids" until dinner was served, coming in frozen but happy. Video games, remote-controlled cars, piles of sweets, and lots of noise...it was a perfect Christmas evening. David and Daniel continue to amaze me with their patience and care for Ermias. They handle him with utmost love and tenderness. They show him to be adventurous with food and loving with family. And give him life skills, such as this:



On the way home the kids were still thinking about their day. Out of the blue Mason said, "I can't believe I got movie tickets AND lunch money."

We also decided to make a couple of extra stops at friends' houses, getting us home past our bedtimes, but happy to have made the most out of this, our first Christmas together as a family of five.

Christmas - 3, 2, 1

Merry Christmas Eve

First of all, Merry Christmas to our dear friends! We are so blessed to have this group to support us all through this journey we are on. We had 200 people show up for Ermias' welcome party, and this was the only forum I used to invite. We were so honored to see so many old and new friends. Truly blessed, thank you.

I've been wanting to post another update, but nothing seems quite that interesting anymore. We are almost to normal and boring! Yet we have these amazing moments of awe that we share with Ermi, that reminds us of all the newness he experiences every day.

Like last night when we were driving to Bellevue and got hit by a sudden hailstorm and it sounded like we were being shot by assault ice pellets. I turned around to see the biggest brown eyes popping out of his startled face, his head frozen still, and the eyes moving left to right. I smiled to let him know it was ok and said "it's HAIL, Ermias" (always emphasizing the new word). He said "oh snowman?!?" He had just learned about snow earlier this week. The ground was immediately white with hail, so it was very hard to explain that this was another cold ground-covering substance. "Hail," I said. "Snowman?" he repeated. Sure, snowman.

We were on our way to pick up Lauren and Kenzie, who still insists on him referring to her by title. "Lauren and then Sister and then Masons soccer??" His English is now letting him participate in the conversation with us. It's broken, but the pieces fit together. "Mason soccer, Ermias basketball. Ermias basketball?!?" It's adorable and he seems to love to use every word he knows whenever he can. "Too hot! Too cold! Too big! More? Again?!" We hear these all the time in his high pitched, curious voice. Sadly, we haven't heard him speak Amharic, even to native speakers in a couple of weeks. Maybe it's his way of fitting in, but he has switched to English. We have to figure out how to help him keep his language.

But language is not a barrier. This kid is so social. He loves meeting new people and finding ways to connect. I continue to put myself in his shoes...what if I were stuck in the middle of a party of people with no common language? Would I find a way to engage strangers and interact? What a gift he has...look out world when he can speak in a complete sentence.

We had a new milestone last night! We went out to dinner and all ordered off of the menu. Mason and Ermias ordered pasta and ate the entire bowl! And they were still hungry so ordered seconds. Ermi ate half of bowl number two and Mason finished it up for him. Cindy and I looked at each other, silently acknowledging the inevitable food bill that is going to accompany these boys when they reach high school. But at least eating is no longer a struggle. We are so grateful for the nutritionist at Children's Hospital that advised us to gracefully transition his food from Ethiopian to American. I served American foods with Injera, and Ethiopian foods on pasta. I put black cardamon in everything, then sprinkled it with berbere. He met us more than half way, trying almost everything and no longer asking for injera.

The nutrition seems to be making a healthy impact on his body too. His arms and legs are both filling out, and his little distended belly is flattening. He just looks different.

But inside there's still a little six year old who is scared and suffering. I was reminded of this last night when he pulled me onto his bed, then eventually let the silent tears flow again. No words this time, just the most somber face laying against the pillow in the dark. Glassy eyes looking to mine. I wiped his tears and said "Mommy loves Ermias. Ama loves Ermias. Sister loves Ermias. Mason loves Ermias. Ermias Averill. Ermias has a family who loves him. Ermias is such a good boy. I love you." He laid motionless, tears streaming, as I repeated these words and more. He's tough and resilient, with an amazing spirit of adventure and optimism. But inside he's a little boy who is figuring out a whole new world. It's true, though...he does have a lot of love around him to get him through it.

Another budding artist

This year Mason has really begun to take an interest in both reading and drawing. Here he displays his favorite Angry Bird character. 

Boys and a sister

Averill Christmas

We had a brunch at our house today with my side of the family. Ermias soon learned that most people came with presents in hand, and then frisked everyone else upon entering. Hard to believe Christmas is here!

Kenzie and Ruby

Littlest Angel

This is Randy's Angel's uniform that he wore when my dad played for the Angels. They had a father-son game for all the ballplayers. The glove is my grandfathers, and the bat has my dad's signature.

It's a little short, but the pants are none too tight in the waist.

Mason wore it when he was a month shy of four years...

Dry shower

Kenzie videotaped Ermias taking a refreshing dry shower.

The place on the tree that Ermias decorated

He picked one place to hang all his ornaments. He was very serious, outlasting each of the other kids in careful placements.

Before the concert

Tree trimming

Basketball!

Both boys started basketball this weekend! Ermi loved every minute of it. There are no pictures of Mason because...wait for it...Cindy is helping coach this year. Mason is very excited, but I warned him that meant that she actually has full permission to "instruct him" the entire game. He somehow seemed surprised.

 

And his first basket:

Big day for Kenz

Today Kenzie got on the honor roll, and had a solo at her choir concert!

Dear aliens, love MacKenzie

Almost one month!

Tonight Cindy had a church meeting. It was my first time to have all three kids dinner and bedtime routine. Sometimes we get lost in the chaos of what needs to be done, so tonight I tried to just focus on time with the kiddos. Kenzie helped me cook, and helped fetch whatever Ermi needed at dinner (more injera, more injera, more injera...and some water). Mason had soccer practice and joined us later. Ermi imitated nearly every move that Kenzie made, which had us all in stitches. The boys played. Mason grows more into the role of too-rough big brother every day. The dog wants to join in and barks when that's not happening. We even cleaned the kitchen and did homework. Simple things, but tonight was a night like those that sometimes pass me by.

After baths and kisses goodnight, the boys did their typical routine. Mason crawled into his bed to read a book while Ermi crawled into his bed to fall asleep with the lights on. I went downstairs. Ten minutes later Kenzie came to tell me that Ermi was crying for me. This is new. He is so independent, and so used to falling asleep on his own, so I hurried when I heard he needed me. He was reversed in his bed (just like the first night we slept together and he wanted nothing to do with either Kenzie or me, so we had his feet at our heads all night). I sat down near the head of his bed and told him to turn around and come closer. He did. I laid down next to him and he put his arm around me. We snuggled. His chest itched, so I grabbed some coconut oil and rubbed it on him. Then he rolled over so I could put it on his back, and he let me give him a back massage. He then pulled my arm over him and wanted me to hold him some more. I did for quite some time. He eventually rolled on his back, but didn't want me to leave, grabbing my fingers. I rubbed his face and kissed his cheeks. He was totally relaxed. I kissed him some more, so grateful that he was truly comforted by me, until the tears started falling down my cheeks, and I was worried he would notice. I snuggled up to him until he fell completely asleep. I looked down at this amazing little boy who has let himself trust, learn, adjust and be loved. He continues to amaze me with his willingness to change and embrace whatever comes his way.

And he has had a lot come his way.

...It has been less than a month and he is already established in school. Today we had a parent-teacher conference and Mrs. Terry spent the first 5 minutes gushing about how much she loves him, and how she was admittedly jealous when he hugged the aid before her. The kids in the classroom are loving and give him credit for "still learning" the things they may already know. (They get upset when any kid other cuts in line. When Ermi does it they'll say "he's still learning.") Somehow I worry that they're not giving him enough credit...yet still I'm appreciative that he continues to be special to so many people.

...What a weird holiday Thanksgiving is, especially to someone who is used to small portions of only a few foods! Take a giant naked bird and stuff it's orifices with bread and veggies, then gorge on all sorts of other weird foods. He wanted nothing to do with it and I could hardly blame him, so he got shiro-wat for Thanksgiving. Otherwise, though, he is continues to branch out with his foods. Last night he ate spaghetti. Tonight he had Indian lentils (with injera). And his new favorite word--even ahead of injera--is peanut butter! We have a new staple with PB sandwiches, which is much easier to put in a baggie than the soupy shiro-wat and injera. I no longer panic when we start to run low on injera.

...Bouncy houses. As weird as you might think these might be to him, he just thinks they're rad. Slides, crazy kids, flying balls...yes, all good here.

...Amharic seems to be disappearing as fast as the English is appearing. We had an interpreter for his doctors visit yesterday and he was uninterested in speaking anything but English. The interpreter wanted to know why he was there. Ermi seems to be getting most of what is said, and is eager to practice every word he knows. I can no longer count the words he speaks. He has phrases that we say, like "come on, hurry, let's go!" but also many of the basics are coming to him, such as body parts, food, and people.

Somebody please tell me, how in the heck am I supposed to explain Christmas? We don't even have language to begin talking about putting the Christ in Christmas. But you'll notice that we're going to take a perfectly good tree, cut it down, then we are going to bring it in our house, put lights and balls on it. Oh, and if that's not enough, a fat white man in a red suit will bring you some presents. He does to all the kids! Wait, what...he didn't bring any to you in Africa? Well, I'm not sure how to explain that either. But please smile when I put you on his lap because I'd like a cute picture.

I know I over-think this. He will be just fine, thinking to himself that we are all nuts, but happy to be part of it.

Peanut butter and cheese

We went to Snowflake Lane in Bellevue with Eric and Diane for a night of fake snow and Christmas carols. Ermi was terrified of the 7' snowman, but otherwise loved every cheesy moment of it. 

We ate at Red Robin, our first successful restaurant adventure when he ate (French fries and spaghetti) from the menu. As soon as we went outside he started asking for the backup plan of PB&J that he must have seen Cindy pack before they left. 

Christmas story by Mason

Adavidandadaniel

David and Daniel hold hero status with Ermias. He asks for them every day, sometimes several dozen times a day. It sounds like two words "Adavidandadaniel, no?" Luckily we live fairly close and have been able to see them almost weekly. 

And this is the guy who brings them to him. 

New rides

Firetruck 

Lauren's dirt bike 

Wrecking ball

Wait for it...

MASON GOALS!

Hi this is mason, I scored four goals! But my moms only got one on video."darn." I only got one assist:[. I guess it is better then nothing right. I am playing in indoor it is soooo FUN because you can hit the ball off of the walls. I love indoor!







This is one of the goals from my last game. And that is my sister screaming.

Brothers

Mason loves being a big brother. Sometimes it seems a little hard for him as he adjust to being the "middle child," but he stepped very quickly into the role of big brother. He has a constant playmate now, and someone who idolizes him.