Ramblings from day three

Big brother. Mason can't keep his hands off of E--and that means E can't keep his feet on the ground. Most of the time E puts up with it. Sometimes he enjoys it. Other times he cries as if he's hurt, which of course makes me come running. As soon as Mason puts him down E gets a huge smile on his face and looks at me with that spark in his eye that says "oh yes, I have your number." I'm in trouble. And I did try to talk to Mason to go easy on him. To which Mason replied "I don't care even if he makes that squeal noise. He needs to get used to it." Big brother fits him well. 

A moment. Mason picked up E and twirled him in circles until they crashed on the hard ground. They were both stunned and laid on the ground, E half way on top of Mason....then the laughing started. They just laid on the ground, looking at each other, giggling for a full special moment.

Shared space. This is one of the best orphanages in the country. We have heard this from multiple sources. Still, there are four rooms for the children. One is for the babies. About three women tend full-time to the dozen babies, who only come out of that room when their adoptive parents arrive. A similar room exists for the toddlers, and you can see one or two of them  hang through  the gate at the door most of the day. A third room is for the big kids, including E. This room sleeps 10. The bunk beds line the walls, and doubles as a playroom. There is one box of mismatched legos, but otherwise no toys; just the tv that they huddle around most of the day and watch movies. Every time we have arrived, morning or afternoon--with the exception of the goodbye ceremony on the first day--this has been their activity. 

Two balloons. Yesterday when we arrived E asked the lady to bring down two balloons that were hanging on the wall, leftover from the goodbye ceremony three days earlier. Mason and E played with them by the front door, then eventually went into the big kid room. Within no time the TV was off and everyone was playing. Soon we were down to just one balloon and it was hit a thousand times. One balloon, ten kids and an hour's entertainment. I wondered if we would have that same ratio back home. 

Play-Doh. I remember buying the $3.99 set of Play-Doh at Fred Meyer. I worried about the bulk of it and opted for the smaller set to fit better in my suitcase. But once the balloons were gone we asked to play with it. The kids liked to touch it and mix the shapes but they didn't really know how to create. I didn't see anybody make a car, or a cat or anything except a ball. I wondered if this was because a ball is all they know for play. I took a hunk and made a watch for one kid. Soon I had a line of customers. They summoned Lauren as a manufacturer too. She made a snake. Soon everyone wanted snakes and my watches were no longer hip.  Snakes turned into a game. I think Mason and Lauren were behind this, but next thing I knew there were six kids with various colors of snakes sneaking up behind anyone who dared not pay attention. There were squeals and giggles with everyone playing along. The caretaker of this room was watching from the sidelines with a smile on her face, but I wondered what she thought of us introducing anarchy to her room. I understand her job is to maintain order--to somehow keep these kids from hurting each other in this small room day after day. But then Mason dropped a snake down her back and she was fast in the mix too. She chased him through all the swarm of kids like a pro. The two of them went at it for so long, it was so cute. He clearly charmed her. When we left he gave her a big hug, wrapping his arms around her neck, and dropping another snake down the back of her shirt. 

Simple touch. The first day we arrived and sat in the room we were given chairs and space. The second day they pulled out a mattress for us because we insisted on sitting on the floor with all the kids. Today, no mattress, I think they just realized we wanted to be with the kids. Usually Lauren was tossing or tickling a kid, and I would sit and just share time. Every time I sat I had kids all around me, hanging on me, touching me, holding my hand. One boy likes to tickle and I realized he just wanted to sit and lean on me, but didn't know how, so I just pulled him close. Little hands on my leg, quick swipes across my cheek, a stolen kiss from a little boy on my shoulder, an impromptu hug. Each one of them hugs each of us and every time the hugs are bigger than the last time we left. 

Friends. There are three kids that caught our attention the first and second day. The oldest boy reminds me so much of Daniel with his shy smile and quiet ways. My heart was heavy as I realized that he is 16 and that is the cutoff when, if not adopted, kids age out of the system and are left to fend for themselves. This kid looks after E and is clearly a big brother to him as well. Well we were happy to show up today and meet their new family, a lovely couple with 3 kids at home who saw them online and are here for court. We were so happy!!

Book. I also learned that the 16 year old speaks English, or at least understands it, so I asked him to interpret for me as I showed E his family book. He was so kind and I'm thankful we have most of it on video. E is impatient as we flip through the pages but at the end I asked him if he would come to us. Quietly he said "I love you."

More info. Up until this time I have had about seven pages of info on E's background. The first and second days we were here I asked about his birth mother, his health background...any way to learn more. The only thing I was told was that the guardian might be available and they will try to get her here so I can talk with her. (I also learned that the guardian was a neighbor, not grandmother.) I asked again today and this time the office worker took me into the office and produced a thick file. She placed it on the desk and let me photocopy every page. One of them had a black and white small copy of his birth mother, so I felt as if I had unearthed a treasure. I have complete vaccination records and details of his arrival at the orphanage. Since my luck seems to be improving I may ask again tomorrow. 

Ramblings from day two

Brotherly Love. E seemed genuinely excited to see us today. His smile and his hug were real. Today I started feeling a bond with him. E is very happy to have a big brother. There were several moments between them that were so special and loving. Mason got hurt and sat on my lap to cry. When E saw him, he came over, tilted his head sideways, touched his hand and worked to look in his eyes. Mason extended his hand and they held hands and then E kissed Mason. I pulled them both in for a hug, but E kept his eyes focused on Mason. Mason then giggled and we shared a big hug. Later E asked Mason to pee with him, but, in Mason's words, he wasn't quite ready for that yet. 

Balloons. We brought rocket balloons today. Lauren likes to point out that they usually come with a pump but I was too cheap and just bought the refill pack. We started inside and the flock of kids watched intently as Lauren showed E the first balloon. As she let it go he squealed. Within a few minutes a few brave kids joined in on the action and we had several balloons flying across the room. And then not much later complete chaos ensued. Eventually they sent us outside where a few launched over the wall, several popped, and the rest turned into hats, swords, or in E's case a soccer ball. We noticed that most kids didn't ask for balloons, but E did. He was in the center of all the action. 

Teammates. Mason and E were on the same team today with one other kid versus the whole rest of them. Lauren observed that E, even though he was the shortest on one the court, took up the same space as the other two. He was frustrated that he couldn't reach as high as the others, but he squawked and squealed enough to make his presence known. And he has a good bounce pass. 

Tickling. After the balloons broke the ice, the kids warmed up to us and we found ourselves in the midst of chasing, tickling and flipping one after another kid upside down. Lauren played keep away for an eternity while I found my lap occupied by one kid after another every time I sat down. 

Lunch. E wanted Mason to have lunch with him. Mason wasn't excited about that because he had one bite yesterday and it was spicy. He took a moment, but then mustered some strength and lined up to wash his hands. The brothers sat next to each other. E dug in immediately as he was served his favorite food, shiro wat. Mason watched for a bit but then eventually took a bite, then two, then he realized he liked it too. Both boys had second helpings. Several times I saw E look at Mason out of the corner of his eye, observing and, I think, being proud of having a big brother. 

Court. We stopped by the agency office today and inquired about court. I learned that the bio/family court happened already and E's guardian (who we previously thought was his grandmother but now know is actually a neighbor) did show up to release him. However the court wants to meet his birth mother and hear directly from her, so they summoned her in the newspaper and asked her to show up next Tuesday. I understand it is unlikely that she will be able to show as they have not seen her in two years, and she is very sick. They have also asked the judge we can schedule my court the same day and they suspect he will say yes. So I am planning to go to court next Tuesday with the slight possibility of meeting his birth mother. The director of the orphanage asked me yesterday if I wanted to meet her. I said yes, absolutely. I would love to let E say goodbye to her and let her know we will give him the best life we can. We shall see if they can make that happen. 

Videos. I was taking video of the kids playing, then one of the boys wanted to do it. Soon I had five around me watching videos on my phone. It was sprinkling outside so in an instant, after receiving a queue from one of the workers, three of them grabbed me and swept me inside. They sat out chairs and pointed to the center one. We huddled up and they watched every video on my phone with complete attention. They saw Mason swimming in Mexico's ocean, him and Kenzie jumping from the rock in Lopez Island, Mason swan diving into the pool, Kenzie jumping into a ring, the kids racing in our yard--didn't matter, they were fascinated by every one. They watched them over and over. I had to wonder what those videos looked like to someone who has never swam, never seen the ocean, never run free. 

Gifts. The orphanage staff is so appreciative of the gifts we brought, four duffle bags of clothes, medical supplies, and toys. I also told them that my friends had donated some money and I would like to buy what they needed. Their requests are simple--formula for the babies, plus instruments to look in their eyes and their ears. 

Entertainment. Besides the small outdoor courtyard, there is one room with a small window that the kids play in. It is lined with bunk beds. There is a mat they pull out, and three small chairs. There is a TV in one corner, but no toys except for one bottle of bubbles. The kids seem to spend a lot of the day with the TV on. I do know they go to school somewhere else when it's not summer break. 

Jump Rope. We brought a pack of jump ropes and they were a huge hit. But not because they liked to jump but because they could get 1:1 attention from Lauren or me as we would count their jumps. They lined up and asked us to count. Each one, as he or she jumped, locked into eye contact. I realized that this is what they crave the most. 

Coffee. Have I mentioned yet that Ethiopia is the birthplace of coffee? And how happy this makes me? 

Tea. In the orphanage as we played with the kids, the staff brought a tray with three cups of tea--one for Lauren, one for me, and one for Mason. It was delicious and such a sweet gesture of respect. 

The walk. I am so happy that we are staying within a short walking distance to the orphanage. We are leaving the same sounds and smells that are familiar to E, but more than that we walk both ways through the mud, amongst the cows, and on the streets. It feels very genuine and I'm grateful that we passed on the chance to stay at the Hilton. 

First kiss

Alas! We made it to the orphanage yesterday afternoon. They were having a goodbye ceremony for another child, so E (I still can't say his name here or share pictures) was sitting inside (front row, of course). He must have seen us because the social worker told me he said "my mom is here." (He hadn't seen any pictures, so I'm not sure how he knew.) I waited a few seconds, squatted on the steps outside, reached out my arms, and he came out with a big hug and a huge smile. It was love at first sight. We spent much of the day there, playing with E and with his friends.

Immediately Mason and E started playing soccer. That boy has skills! He was juggling it 2 or 3 times, then kicking it to his head. We learned later that he has to use the lighter ball instead of the heavy soccer ball because he already broke the large pane window once. (At first they told us that he likes the lighter ones, but then we learned the truth later.) Between Mason and E, that 12x15 square driveway isn't much space for soccer, so the ball was bouncing off every wall and person around. Oh, and they're trying to grow a nice patch of grass that the kids have been trained to stay off of--and it seemed to have a gravitational pull for the soccer ball. Other kids would join in, but E was always at the center.

At one point he came over to me and gave me a full 3 second kiss on my right cheek. It was the sweetest thing I've ever experienced. I got several more throughout the day. But, here I have a child that I don't yet share a single word with, yet in that kiss he told me he's all in--he's thankful that I'm there and he wants to be a part of a shared life. We will get to know each other from here, but I now know all I need to.

He is the boss of the entire orphanage. The other kids are sweet and demure. He is sweet, but wants to run the place. He's one of the smallest, so he stands up for his full space. He was never mean-spirited, but just quick to make sure everyone knew what they should do!

He saw the photo album in my hand and immediately grabbed it and started flipping through it. I tried to slow him down, but he wanted to see everything first. Eventually I pulled him on my lap and got an interpreter. He was very excited to know that he has a sister!! And he was excited about the cats too. Everything made him smile. He lives life large, has a big personality, and will fit in perfectly with our family.

Guest house

We found our guest house--although they thought we were coming two days later, so they felt terrible they didn't pick us up at the airport. These people are so sweet. They have done everything to make us feel at home. There was a family here last night, but they left so we are the only guests. When we left the orphanage last night she was worried about us and ran all the way there to make sure we were safe. She made us pasta dinner and they were able to connect the wifi for a bit, so we all are happy!

This is one of the newer homes in the city, but would be very low income by our standards. It is very clean inside, but it sits on a street of mud. They are hoping that once the rainy season ends they will have cobblestones on the street like this neighboring street. 

Musings

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On the airplane from Seattle I watched 42, the Jackie Robinson story about being the first black man to enter white baseball, and now as I'm heading to Africa The Help, a movie set in the 50s about black maids working in white Southern homes, is playing on Lauren's Kindle. Mason sits beside me watching A Bugs Life, completely unaware of the history of racism in this world--or even where it stands today. I love the fact that he is color-blind, but want him to aware. We sit here on the 13 hour journey to Ethiopia, I wonder how much we will learn, how much he will absorb, and how we will help our new guy live in this unequal world. 

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Wrapping our heads around what we are doing as been impossible. Not only are we gaining a child into our family, we are getting on a plane and heading across the world. Cindy keeps asking me "is it real yet?" and my answer has always been "no." I can envision him in our homes, as a full part of our lives...but I can't fully grasp this trip. Until about 5 minutes ago. We are three hours outside of Addis Ababa and Mason woke up excited. I asked him why he's so pumped and he said "because I get to meet my brother!!!" It's the first time he has felt it. I think it's moving from the head to the heart. 

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I have been dreading this flight but it really has not been that bad. We have only a couple of hours left. We have all slept somewhat, and the time has passed easily. iPads, movies, headphones...these all help tremendously. But I am feeling good about the process and think I will be able to do this three more times as I go home, turn around for embassy, and bring him home again. Remind me of that when I start panicking again...

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Rough ride

We arrived in Addis Abeba yesterday in the morning, only to realize that we left in such a hurry we hadn't quite locked down final details--such as how we were getting from the airport to the guest house. I knew that my adoption coordinator was going to try to arrange a ride, but never heard back for sure. So, when we landed, we looked for a sign with my name on it...and didn't see any. We walked down the outside ramp and saw nobody for us! I had a few phone numbers of local people. I tried the first one, their driver, and he didn't answer. When I called back I got a message saying something in Amharic. I went to the next number and it forwarded to a message. My last number was a woman who, luckily, was waiting for my call. The driver had planned to be there but his car broke down. So, after a half hour wait, she and her driver showed up in this vehicle. Mason, Lauren and I shared a 2 passenger seat in the second row and we took off!

Here is the steering wheel

Then we hit a pothole in the middle of the road that doubled as a river. We hit hard. Mason hit is head and the car came to a halt. A man in a blue uniform on the side started yelling at us, and the driver revved all 2 cylinders to get us to the side of the road--meaning the right lane of traffic. There was another car in front of us broken down too, so at least we had some company. We stayed in the car, while the driver got out, informed us that we had a popped tire, and asked the woman to grab a rock. Somehow he used the rock to help change the tire and we were off again! At one point we had to climb a fairly steep hill and I wasn't sure the car had enough gusto to do it, but it did.

On our way!

Lauren, Mason and I flew into DC last night and are on a plane now to Africa!

Palette preparing

We went out for Ethiopian food to prep our palettes for the trip. Mason wasn't so sure, but he actually did great!

Navigators

Island ready

Booked!!

Wow! What a rush this week has been. From total uncertainty and stress...to urgency and chaos. Yesterday the agency told me that, even though I don't have a court date, it's best to head over there because (a) they believe I will get a court date and (b) even if I don't, I need to document that I was there and they can represent me in court.

Then booking the tickets was a mess - there's no return flights due to all the last minute court dates, and all the teachers and missionaries who are returning home.

It finally got all straightened out today, Friday. We leave Sunday morning!!!!

Adoption update

So....still waiting. I have two tickets to leave Friday at 6:45AM, but no court date. Supposedly court closes a week from today...yet sometimes stays open longer. 

Tap, tap, tap....

From 16 years...to 6

Today we put Basti on a plane to go home and this marks the end of 2-1/2 years of having 16 year old boys in our house! He is such a great guy we are sad that we didn't have more time together, but grateful to have most of the summer with him here. We went out to dinner and talked about how much richer our lives are after having gone through this time with these great guys. The kids have not only a deeper love of soccer, but also a clear idea of what it means to be a great older sibling. With our new guy coming soon, we are so grateful that Kenzie and Mason see the influence that an older sibling can have, and how important it is to be a great example of patience, interest and love. Plus we have a rich extended European family! We are so blessed--but it's hard to say goodbye!